Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

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Zack Snyder’s “Batman v Superman” is a prequel to “Justice League,” a spiritual reboot for his version of Ben Affleck’s love child iteration of Batman, and just one big amalgam of “Watchmen” and “The Dark Knight Rises” in one big messy unpleasant plate. Basically, Superman is Doctor Manhattan and Ozymandias, while Batman is Rorschach and Nite Owl. Snyder doesn’t really have to pull much footwork with his clashing of the titans, as he just instills a lot of the same themes and ideas from Alan Moore’s graphic novel, while spending the duration of the movie riffing on Moore’s work, along with Frank Miller, Alex Ross and everyone else he can. This results in a tonally uneven, and virtually fun free movie that has no respect for the Superman lore and an obsession with Batman’s, and it’s apparent from minute one. Did we really have to see Batman’s origin again?

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Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker (2000)

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When “Batman Beyond” was introduced in 1999, fans of old and new were given a peek in to a Batman for a new generation while also exploring what happened to Bruce Wayne’s legacy many decades in to Gotham’s Future. When the series took off, fans were able to see that the legacy of the Joker lived on, as he inspired one of future Gotham’s most violent army of gang members “The Jokers,” however we were never given a definitive explanation as to what happened to the clown prince of crime. “Return of the Joker” holds true to its title, spending a feature length narrative explaining what happened to the Joker and how he left a lasting scar on Bruce Wayne and his family.

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Darth Maul: Apprentice – A Star Wars Fan Film (2016)

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As a Star Wars fan, one of the biggest disappointments of sitting through 1999’s “The Phantom Menace” was watching the creation of one of the most amazing villains of the “Star Wars” cinematic universe, only for him to show up for about five minutes, be killed, and then never spoken of again. This character that was on mugs, and t shirts, and posters was almost non-existent in future films. “Apprentice” is a fantastic and dare I say perfect, fan film that shows what would have happened if George Lucas subtracted twenty minutes of screen time from Jar Jar Binks in favor of more emphases on the sheer danger and threat that was Darth Maul. Maul should have been the recurring villain in the prequels and could have salvaged the otherwise terrible films.

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Camino (2016)

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It’s pretty entertaining to see how much Zoe Bell has grown both as an actress and action star. Though “Camino” isn’t a masterpiece, Bell shines among everyone else as a vulnerable heroine who manages to make it out of a violent situation thanks to her wits and ability to endure hell in the jungle. Bell doesn’t play up the image of female Rambo this time around, opting instead for a more empathetic and layered character portrayal of a war photographer who has seen the worst of humanity, and then ends up becoming a victim of what ugliness humanity is capable of. Bell handles the role well, giving urgency to her character’s plight, and we root for her the entire way through.

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Deadpool (2016)

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Superhero movie fatigue, my balls.

“Deadpool” is proof positive that the comic book movie is alive and well and prone to various iterations of the comic book movie mold beyond capes, tights, and bat ears. “Deadpool” is one of the most anti of anti-heroes ever conceived. He’s a man who works for any side that’s appealing to him, and you can never quite pin down whether he should be a friend or foe. Wilson like Marvel comrades The Punisher and Iron Man are never villainous, but also not the clean cut superheroes we’d expect. In the end, Wilson is about self gratification, even though he tells himself that his intentions are pure. He’s a man who loves being vile and obnoxious. Even Wade Wilson during the opening of “Deadpool” explicitly states that he is by no means a hero, and we’re given extensive insight in to how he lived his life before he became the “merc with the mouth.”

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Zombie Fight Club (2014) [Blu-ray]

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While I’d say “Zombie Fight Club” is not the worst zombie movie ever made, it’s definitely up there in the top five. Joe Chien’s zombie, comedy, action… horror movie (?) is so painfully written and poorly directed, it watches like an amateur production from a failed film student. The script watches like it was put together in five minutes with a bunch of concepts that never ever mix together in to a coherent or remotely entertaining movie. Explaining the premise would be like listening to a child with ADD talk as if they’re trying to cram a whole hour’s worth of nonsense in to two minutes. There’s Singapore, and a high rise where a gang of drug abusers are living. The leader of the gang gets a bag of bath salts; said bath salts mysteriously turn the users in to flesh eating zombies.

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Total Recall (2012)

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Colin Farrell is back again as an odd choice for action hero playing “Average Joe” Douglas Quaid. He is a factory worker who helps produce police bots for his world that has been divided in to two separate factions. The remaining world that has survived chemical war fare are living on various levels, all controlled by the government. Douglas’ world remains a stink hole lower class existence until he arrives at Rekall, anxious to install artificial memories in to his brain for the sake of amusement. Upon implanting a fantasy in his mind, Quaid learns he is really a super spy, and now Chancellor Cohaagen who is slowly rising to power, is after him. Along with him and his army of robotic police, there’s Doug’s smoking hot wife Lori, who is revealed to be a skilled assassin who is driven to kill Douglas at all costs.

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