As kids who grew up with on TV, no cable, and a selection of recorded VHS tapes, my brother and I were given only a limited amount of movies to watch and as such “Tremors” was one of our favorite bad horror movies to put in before we went to sleep. It had monsters, laughs, no scares, and enough gore to whet our whistles, and even at a young age it was so joyously corny we had fun. “Tremors” is a monster movie that is all around about as high quality as “Night of the Lepus,” but with enough camp to keep it running as a nineties schlock spectacular with corny monsters, a cheesy ending, and a premise that granted it three equally corny sequels, and a short lived TV series.
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
Catfish (2010)
The big hook for “Catfish” has been the tagline “Don’t let anyone tell you what it is,” and this has had audiences providing theories since the trailer was released what the big hook is to the story. What is the big surprise in the climax? I won’t spoil it for you. At least I’ll try not to. I’ll leave it up to you. Nevertheless, “Catfish” is not a movie that you will expect going in and leaving and it will assuredly have you re-thinking your life and your overall view on personal relationships.
The Tortured (2010)
Robert Lieberman’s dose of mean spirited brutally disgusting torture porn entitled “The Tortured” is a lot like “Hard Candy” except dunderheaded, half-witted, and a pure right wing cartoon. Two young good looking parents in an upper class neighborhood are angry that the police aren’t doing enough to find their son who was kidnapped before husband Craig’s very eyes in their back yard one day. Wife Elise of course barely blames her husband, except blames the authorities. We learn all of this information in only the first five minutes of the film that speeds through the kidnapping, the investigation, Elise’s anguish at the kidnapping, and we even visit the hilariously cartoonish Koslowski, a pedophile hillbilly too ridiculous to be horrified of.
Trilogy of Terror (1975)
It’s not at all surprising that “Trilogy of Terror” has risen to cult status based solely on the success of Richard Matheson’s “Amelia” segment involving the murderous Zuni Fetish Doll as it is sadly the only remotely entertaining and spooky sequence in the 1975 anthology of three mixed tales. While the film has managed to become a bonafide horror classic I found myself wondering when the terror actually was set to begin, primarily because “Trilogy of Terror” is less centered around invoking terror and more on exploring the psyche of the mind and nothing else. The first two stories are just mere psychological thrillers, while the third story entitled “Amelia” is a straight forward monster in the house cat and mouse story but with a psychological twist setting in to question the mind set of its protagonist. “Trilogy of Terror” is one of the most underwhelming anthology horror films I’ve ever seen and one that’s based around a sense of self-importance that keeps it from sticking true to its nature of television movie horror.
Rings (2005)
You can find this online on video websites in parts, or if you’re one of my type of consumer, you likely bought this as a double DVD set with the re-release of “The Ring” (Still superior to the original), shortly put on store shelves before the release of the disastrous “The Ring 2.” For those who have yet to see it, “Rings” is only a short film that’s meant to bridge the gaps between parts one and two of the American series, but if you were one of the few to see it, you’ll know it’s ten times better than the actual feature length sequel featuring the still slumming Naomi Watts.
Return to Halloweentown (2006)
I’m not sure why, but Kimberly J. Brown is nowhere to be found in this final film of the “Halloweentown” series. I read an interview online from Kimberly J. Brown that explains she never got a call to come back to the movies, even though she was more than willing. I peg it to the fact that Sara Paxton was then blossoming to be tailored for Disney Channel stardom, thus they kicked out the very adorable and quite talented Brown in exchange for the more streamlined and younger Sara Paxton. The difference is immensely noticeable as the character seems completely different from the original Marnie. Paxton is a good actress, but she’s not as charming or soft spoken as Brown was, thus there’s an element missing from this final film. Also, Debbie Reynolds is nowhere to be found, another sad fact considering she was a key element to the formation of Marnie. She was her Obi-Wan. Without her, Marnie is just another heroine.
Brain Dead (2007)
Director Kevin S. Tenney, the mind behind eighties cult classics like “Night of the Demons” and “Witchboard” aims about as low to the ground as possible with a mini-budget horror comedy that’s neither scary nor funny. I guess it takes a special kind of mind to appreciate what Tenney has to offer audiences, but I just couldn’t find the fun in what was really just a series of misfires in an unfocused muddled movie that, in the end, is just a waste of time. I enjoy horror movies where you have to just go on auto pilot and not ask for logic, but “Brain Dead” asks almost too much from its audience.