Troll 2 (1990)

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“Don’t let them eat, Joshua. For the love of God don’t let them eat.”

Making a really bad horror movie and linking it to a respectable movie for the hopes of financial returns and name recognition is not a new thing. Video companies have been doing it for decades, it’s a common practice in the direct to DVD market. Not to mention the cult classic “Zombie” alludes to being a sequel to “Dawn of the Dead,” even though it really isn’t. But somewhere down the line to avoid being thrown in to obscurity as it rightfully should have been, “Troll 2” is not a sequel at all, it is instead a really god awful movie about Goblins and… really bad acting. There isn’t a single decent performance in the entire film and it’s all so laughably embarrassing that it’s almost impossible to deem this as so bad it’s good.

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28 Days Later: The Soundtrack Album (CD)

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While Danny Boyle’s “28 Days Later” from 2002 is without a doubt one of my favorite horror films of all time, one of my favorite movies of the first decade, and my favorite film from Boyle, more so I love the soundtrack that comes along with the film. The soundtrack is such an obsession of mine I have managed to sit through the entire film until the credits end to hear the music, and can fondly recall listening to the soundtrack in the waiting room of the theater before the press screening of “28 Weeks Later.” I mean they were giving critics cupcakes, water, and a bad ass press book with newspaper clippings from the sequel and the entire time all I could think was “Cool! The music from the first movie is playing overhead!”

What many directors and studios fail to realize these days is that every element is very important for a horror movie, especially the music. The frantic punk rock complimented “Demons,” Dario Argento and the Goblins perfectly complimented “Dawn of the Dead,” and surely enough the compilation of chamber music, electronica, and choir music from the amazing John Murphy brilliantly compliments an already excellent piece of genre filmmaking. While the movie would possibly have been just as much a masterpiece if there were UK pop tunes playing the whole time, Boyle and Murphy turn the soundtrack in to a character, and the soundtrack is quite superb all on its own if you’re the kind of movie fan who enjoys soundtracks.

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It's Not All Fucked: A "28 Days Later" Tribute

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Frank lives by hope even if his daughter Hannah has no hope thanks to the death of her mother, and his is infectious as he spreads this radio frequency offering salvation to survivors to his new friends begging them to believe in this new world, and they have no choice but to seek it out or remain in this city where hope has all but deteriorated in a sea of dead bodies, and massive skyscrapers that now look like tombstones for the dead. Frank’s entrance in to the fold is true heroism and one that is based around his hope for life in a world void of it and hoping to gain their trust allowing for caretakers in the event of his demise. For a man whose seen nothing but chaos, he is shockingly high spirited and provides his new guests with smiles, pats on the backs and giggles because it’s about all he can do to keep up the morale of his daughter who has seen the world die before her eyes. He even keeps their gold fish alive in the wake of their clear lack of any water, in spite of his best efforts to grab some on the knowledge of a television show he’d seen one night. Jim and Selena can’t help but be charmed by his determination and unflinching grasp for some new world out there beyond their reaches, and they go for it with an old taxi Frank claimed in the midst of the carnage.

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It's Not All Fucked: A "28 Days Later" Tribute

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Danny Boyle’s “28 Days Later” came along at a very tough time in my life. Like most movies that are around during difficult periods in your life, they tend to have a very important impact and influence on your mood and overall outlook on your fate. Around the time “28 Days Later” was released, I was about to go in to open heart surgery. And while my survival rate was very high we were all considerably on edge. I remember that year my dad took us to see “Terminator 3” in theaters to cheer us up, and on the way home we bought the bootleg VHS for “28 Days Later” which didn’t work. Days later I was able to obtain another copy with crisp quality and indulged in one final incredible horror movie before I went under the knife and endured an excruciating week in recovery that involved sleepless nights, aches, and a hospital ward waiting to see if I’d slip in to an infection or heart failure at any minute.

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The Loved Ones (2009)

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the-loved-onesIf John Waters and John Hughes ever conceived the idea for a modern day “Misery,” we’d essentially get this Australian horror gem known as “The Loved Ones,” a movie that’s centered around an impending prom and two rather demented love stories that concern fractured love and new relationships. After accidentally crashing in to a tree Brent kills his father and six months later is a train wreck committed to smoking pot and putting himself in as much danger as possible. He also makes a hobby out of cutting himself and inflicting pain.

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Lost Boys: The Thirst (2010)

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Lost-Boys_The-ThirstAfter the disastrous and god awful “The Tribe,” which was just a remake of the original film, “Thirst” takes every chance to link to the original film convincing audiences that it really is an honest to goodness sequel and not just a wannabe of the “Lost Boys” variety. In its essence though it’s still just nostalgiasploitation, as it takes every precaution to connect to the original movie trying to create a fluid sense of continuity. We hear the classic theme song played in the opening, there’s a re-make of the vampire train track diving scene in the original, Edgar has flashbacks (i.e. clips) of his fighting days with Sam and Alan, Edgar and his brother take the time to explain to one another what happened to the rest of the characters (Corey Haim who died before the film, is told to have suffered a slight case of vampirism and staking), and Alan re-appears as a supporting character now in vampiric form.

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The Addams Family: The Complete Series (DVD)

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There will always be a place for America’s ghoulish family The Addams and I assume in lieu of the proposed Tim Burton re-launch, the Hanna Barbera animated series from the early seventies is something of a necessary property to re-live the nostalgia for fans of the franchise and help them hunger for Burton’s new vision. Featuring the entire series in a four DVD set, “The Addams Family” is quite a departure from the normality of the creepy Addams Family this time venturing out beyond the series to offer up some Scooby Doo mystery solving.

One of the highlights of the series is the discovery that a young Jodie Foster (Yes, that Jodie Foster) voices Wednesday Addams. Beyond that this is a typical cash in from the Hanna Barbera legacy. Instead of leaving them in one place to cope with everyday life, instead the Addams take their show on the road driving around in a humongous Victorian Mansion/RV that brings aboard all of the Addams for the fun.

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