Night of the Living Dead: Darkest Dawn (2015)

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I honestly don’t want to dislike anything with an association with George Romero, but when sub-par independent filmmakers unleash a sub-par remake of Romero’s 1968 “Night of the Living Dead,” you just have to call a spade a spade. It’s irritating that there are still filmmakers that think they can perfect the formula better than Romero did. The rush of “Night” remakes doesn’t seem to be stopping any time soon, either. Which is unfortunate, because time can be better spent on films that aren’t glorified fan fiction. “Darkest Dawn” is essentially “Night of the Living Dead” all over again. Except this time, “Night” is set in modern times, and in a city.

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Poltergeist (2015)

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They left the title but they moved the scares! They left the title but moved the scares! Why?! Why?! Now that I’ve had my little Craig T. Nelson outburst, I’m pretty surprised how ordinary “Poltergeist” is. It’s not the worst remake of all time, but it’s just ordinary. It’s bland, lifeless, vanilla, and feels like what the Lifetime Channel in America would do to a remake of the Tobe Spielberg classic haunting film. I think the only reason Gil Kenan was hired for this movie was because the movie is based around a monster house and he depicted a monster so well in his last film that the job only seemed like a no brainer. The problem is Kenan forgets to produce likable characters and interesting scares during the process of producing an evil possessed house.

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The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014)

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You could pretty much rebrand the 2014 “The Town That Dreaded Sundown” as “Scream 5” and not many people would know the difference. Except that no film in the “Scream” series has ever been this bold or subversive before. “The Town…” 2014 is a film about the influence of films that disturbs, polarizes, and effects greatly. There’s rarely any satire and zero tongue in cheek, just a mad man viciously murdering people to the tune of a very effective crime thriller/slasher film from 1976. I’d be hard pressed to call this a remake or a reboot, as it’s more a sequel than anything.

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Seymour, Audrey, and the Price of Obscurity

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Real depth can come from the most surprising sources, things which at first glance are commercial grabs, but which, when mined, show greater depth. On the one basic hand, Star Wars is ships in space shooting at each other and guys beating on each other with laser swords. On the other hand, the critical hand that studied at a college, it’s an examination of our yearning for a call to adventure lost in the grit of seventies cinema.

Consider Little Shop of Horrors, one of the movies that came out of the well of nostalgia that is the eighties. Many remember it as a musical. Many remember it as a comedy. Many remember it as a horror flick. Few, if any, read much into it.

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Earth vs. the Spider (2001)

earthvsspider2001Director Scott Ziehl’s “Earth vs. The Spider” is an often overlooked and extremely obscure film, and for good reason. It’s a relative rip-off of David Cronenberg’s “The Fly,” and let’s face it: There’s no reason to call this movie “Earth vs. The Spider” at all. I fondly remember this being featured on Cinemax here in America in a Stan Winston horror movie showcase. His company rehashed American International Pictures films, but in name only. As is the case with “Earth vs. The Spider,” which isn’t a masterpiece, but isn’t bad for a hokey shamelessly derivative monster movie.

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The Mummy (1999)

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Stephen Sommers’ ridiculously successful reboot of “The Mummy” is a film that almost gets the formula correct. It’s like a cocktail of action, comedy, romance, horror, and adventure that almost becomes the perfect marriage of sub-genres, but never quite hits the mark; even when it’s at its best. “The Mummy” is incredibly uneven and tough to really respond to, because Sommers seems to want to opt for action, while Universal seems anxious to embrace the horror. Thus it’s all so unbalanced and drags down an action horror comedy hybrid with potential to be a classic.

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Little Shop of Horrors (1986)

littleshopI really enjoy what director Frank Oz does with “Little Shop of Horrors.” Rather than simply ignoring the cheesiness and camp value of the original, he embraces it. He also injects a pulpy comic book atmosphere, along with sixties pop and soul that compliments the tale perfectly. While I’ve always had a weak spot for Roger Corman’s original, Frank Oz succeeds in giving “Little Shop of Horrors” the campy adaptation that it deserves with a brilliant cast, and great tunes. This is a movie that always played on local TV as a kid and I always ignored it for reasons I don’t quite remember. In either case it’s no masterpiece, but it’s a fine and fun horror comedy.

Star Rick Moranis plays Seymour Krelborn, the workaday loser in the slums of his city who works at a flower shop. After fawning over his co-worker Audrey, he decides to take some initiative after financial concerns from his boss and brings in a rare flower. The flower was hit by lightning during a solar eclipse, and Seymour immediately buys it for the sake of the novelty. After pricking his finger, he realizes the plant is alive and hungry for human blood. Soon enough the need for blood transforms in to hunger for human meat, and Seymour must either feed the plant, or lose it and his fame. Nicknamed Audrey II, the vicious plant that turns in to a villain for Seymour, is a wonderful monster. The puppetry matched with Levi Stubbs’ performance make it a menacing foe that is so much more dangerous than it initially looks. Moranis plays Seymour as a mentally unbalanced but very desperate loner who is in love with Audrey and finds she is incapable of being with anyone but her abusive boyfriend.

Steve Martin as Orin Scrivello pretty much steals the film for the screen time he’s given as an over the top biker who works as a dentist for the thrill of torturing patients. Martin is hysterical in the role of the heel, and he even shares a hilarious scene with Bill Murray as the masochistic patient anxious to be tortured. Along with Murray and Martin, there are some great cameos by John Candy, Jim Belushi, and Christopher Guest, all of whom lend a high comedy pedigree to Moranis’ already charming performance. Keeping the film ironic and somewhat meta is the excellent musical numbers, all of which serve as a means of forwarding the narrative, and occasionally challenging the motives of Seymour and his man eating plant. The trio of Tichina Arnold, Tisha Campbell and Michelle Weeks are impressive, delivering some excellent musical numbers of their own, including the opening title track. “Little Shop of Horrors” is a pulp pop twist on the original Roger Corman horror comedy that’s funny, fun, catchy, and well worth its reputation.