Heavy Metal 2000 (2000)

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Boobs! Big Boobs! Big beautiful breasteses! Now that that’s out of my system, “Heavy Metal 2000” is primarily a sequel to pay tribute to the walking Amazonian that is Julie Strain. While it is adapted from a “Heavy Metal” novel like its superior animated entry, this is a film very much of its decade that is hell bent on convincing you that Julie Strain is a goddess. Not that it takes much convincing, mind you, but Strain succeeds in pull off a heroine who is very sexy but also tough as nails, and doesn’t mind getting her hands dirty; especially when her equally sexy sister is taken hostage.

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Heavy Metal (1981)

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There was always something about a rotoscope animated astronaut driving a top down corvette convertible from space to Earth that always screamed the eighties to me, and surprisingly it still works in encapsulating the surrealism of “Heavy Metal.” If you can accept the film for what it is, which is basically a man’s wet dream filled with misogyny, sex, big breasts, and mild exploitation, “Heavy Metal” is a solid animated anthology with some damn good music to accompany its epic sprawling tale. After the astronaut Grimaldi brings home mysterious green orb from space for his daughter, he’s melted and his daughter is shown by the sentient sphere named Loc-Nar, the extent of its power and influence through time and space.

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Stewardess School (1986)

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In 1984, “Police Academy” stormed in to theaters and helped define comedy for the eighties. Suddenly every profession in America was some kind of madcap misadventure, including being a stewardess, for some reason. “Stewardess School” is another take on the formula, this time with a group of misfits doing their damndest to train to become stewardesses, all the while getting naked, doing drugs, and experiencing some of the best stereotypes you can imagine. Filled with only the best C list TV stars, “Stewardess School” is passable entertainment if you keep in mind it’s trying its best to launch a series on the “Police Academy” formula.

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5 Controversial “Star Wars” Developments We Don’t Hate

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For years I wrote off “Star Wars” as another typical classic film I had zero interest in watching until 1998 when sheer boredom gave way to curiosity. Managing to borrow the original trilogy on VHS from my aunt, I watched it in one entire sitting and loved every minute of it. Since then it’s been a very hectic relationship with the series packed with a lot of love, and a lot of bile. In 2015 “Star Wars Rebels” made me realize I still love the series after a self inflicted hiatus, and “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” finally confirmed I wasn’t quite ready to abandon this series just yet. Like any other “Star Wars” geek I have controversial ideas about the series I love and hate, and these are five of the controversial aspects from the whole shebang I don’t hate.

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Emilie Black’s Best and Worst of 2015

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Each year I tell myself I’ll make an end of year list of the Best and Worst movies I’ve seen during that year, but usually fail to make said list.  This year, I’ve actually done it.  Ok, I did it about a week late, but it still counts.  In 2015, I saw a little over 200 movies, not all 2015 releases, but still a “respectable” number considering I was mostly out of the reviewing business until July when the bug caught me again.  This means I’ve missed a ton of movies and am doing this list out of what I’ve seen.  2015 was as solid year for me with a lot of good to great films and very few bad ones which means this will not be a Top 10 Best and Bottom 10 Worst, but more of a collection of titles to check out or avoid.

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Our 10 Worst Movies of 2015

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With the good comes the bad, and 2015 had its fair share of awful films that left audiences and critics running for the doors. There were some films we outright refused to see this year, so you won’t see “The Human Centipede 3” on this list, nor will you be seeing “Joe Dirt 2,” either. We just will not go out of our way to watch a David Spade vehicle. We also didn’t bother with “The Cobbler.” There’s only so much Happy Madison junk we can stomach.

Bad Movies in 2015 that almost made the list includes the pure havoc Happy Madison wrought with the terrible Pixels, the brutally unfunny Paul Blart Mall Cop 2, and the absolutely unwatchable The Ridiculous 6. We almost included Johnny Depp’s terrible Mortdecai, the piss poor lazy prequel Pan, and also considered the Adam Green self love fest Digging Up the Marrow. We also considered adding the lame and dull We Are Your Friends, and seem to be one of the only five people on Earth who hated Bone Tomahawk. There were just more deserving candidates. On to the Worst of 2015…

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