Tag Archives: A

A Low Down Dirty Shame (1994)

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In the nineties everyone was taking a shot at becoming an action star, even Keenan Ivory Wayans. At the time Wayans was known primarily for comedy, after directing the hilarious “I’m Gonna Git You Sucka!” and the (then) very popular sketch comedy show “In Living Color.” But oddly enough, Wayans began starring in action vehicles that were much more straight-faced and intent on pushing him as a gun toting good guy who could take down crime and make us laugh at the same time. In the end, he just feels like a pseudo-John Shaft. “A Low Down Dirty Shame” is a respectable effort, but one that’s woefully misguided, if only for the story’s inability to decide on a tone.

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A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)

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I bet Seth McFarlane would love to fancy himself this generation’s Bob Hope, or perhaps even Mel Brooks. With the hollow smile of a car salesman, and the appeal of a commercial pitch man, in reality, McFarlane comes off as just another really desperate fan boy whose love for music, dancing, and comedy doesn’t equate to entertainment. The end result is a movie that holds our hands through every joke, and then holds our hand through the expected reaction. I imagine if McFarlane directed a remake to “Blazing Saddles” eventually someone would point to Sheriff Bart, look at the audience breaking the fourth wall, and mutter “But he’s a black man! And this is the old west!”

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All Cheerleaders Die (2013)

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Directors Lucky McKee and Chris Siverston backtrack over their 2001 indie horror film “All Cheerleaders Die” and remakes it in to a classic rape revenge horror film where hormonal jocks get their comeuppance. Director McKee and Siverston seem to have a lot of fun with the premise, channeling the likes of “Jawbreaker,” and “Satan’s Cheerleaders” in what is one of the more creative revenge horror films I’ve seen in a while. Maddy is an aspiring journalist who begins following around her friend Alexis during her tryouts for the cheerleading team. As well she learns about Alexis’ views on politics in high school not to mention the twisted social dynamic involved with dating and being a cheerleader.

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Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader (2012)

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It’s amazing that in a movie that features a fifty foot cheerleader, the most far fetched and failed effect is the attempt to make Jena Sims look homely and ugly. That’s by no means a criticism, just an observation of a sorts. Sims is gorgeous, even with the wide spectacles they make her wear, and pasted on zits. She also often resembles Alicia Silverstone in certain lights. Roger Corman and director Kevin O’Neill assemble a pretty respectable cast for another iteration of “Attack of the 50 ft. Woman.” This time it’s a giant cheerleader who is gorgeous and mad as all hell.

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Adjust Your Tracking: The Untold Story of the VHS Collector (2013)

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Dan M. Kinem and Levi Peretic really manage to pay amazing respect to VHS collectors with “Adjust Your Tracking,” an entertaining and raucous documentary that chronicles the joys and pitfalls of VHS collecting. Kinem and Peretic are the founders of one of my favorite websites “VHShitfest” and put their rabid love for the VHS format to use by profiling some of the most hardcore VHS collectors in America. The interviews and glimpses in to the collecting of the arguably defunct format never lull, and directors Kinem and Peretic manage to really give audiences a look at why this is such an appealing past time.

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Alien Arsenal (1999)

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Once again David DeCouteau and Charles Band re-invent “Laserblast” for a new audience. The wretched original is once again re-conditioned in to a teen friendly adventure in the vein of “Power Rangers,” and it’s an apparent attempt to market on the audience. The movie is silly and often makes no sense, but I do tend to miss the old days when Full Moon and Charles Band attempted to appeal to children and teenagers. Ralph and cute Tomboy Baxter are nerds in their school, both of whom spend their time riffing on science fiction and being picked on for reasons I have tough time fathoming. Truth be told, they don’t stand out really.

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Airborne (1993)

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Director Rob Bowman’s 1993 inline skating dramedy “Airborne” is the most nineties-est film of the entire decade, and damn it, I love it. It’s so 90’s, it automatically cancels out “Empire Records” and “Clueless,” combined. I suspect Warner and Bowman expected to begin a brand new nationwide rad inline skating craze with “Airborne,” by pandering to their love for all things extreme and edgy of the sport. Including long hair, surfing, flannel, hockey, and an extreme final race that’s so extreme it’s extra-eme.

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