BAD MOVIE MONDAY: Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker

I’ve never liked reviewing a film right when it comes out. You get caught up in the hype whether you like it or not, swallowed into the propellers of either the always positive marketing machine or the always negative social media rage engine, both of which are revving at full speed. So your review suffers because you can’t stay impartial in that sort of environment. It’s like trying to judge the power of a hurricane while standing in the eye of the storm. I saw this movie a few years ago. I won’t say that I “watched” it because that wouldn’t be accurate.

I played it on a streaming service and then sort of half glanced at the screen. Now, in the interest of science, I’m going to watch it again because I feel it’s a good example of what I like to call “advertiser friendly corporate content.” This is the sort of movie that has an insultingly low opinion of its audience. It’s cynical, insincere, soulless, lazy, and ultimately empty. It’s to cinema what school cafeteria food is to cuisine.
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Door Mouse (2023)

I’m pretty surprised that Avan Jogia had it in him to direct one of the better indie films I’ve seen all year. Shockingly, “Door Mouse” is not based on any particular comic book or graphic novel, but its influences are taken from obvious places like Frank Miller, Sam Spade, Scott Pilgrim, Tank Girl and the like. Jogia is mostly known for being a former Nickelodeon actor in America who then transitioned well in to adult films, but he’s also proven with “Door Mouse” to be a pretty awesome director when all is said and done. “Door Mouse” is a pulpy, neo-noirish, crime thriller with some great references to comic books and a very clever use of animation as a means of helping to add to the overall pulp fiction aesthetic that Jogia seems to be aiming for.

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Foolish Wives (1922) [Blu-Ray/DVD]

Billed as the “first million-dollar movie” when it was released in 1922, Erich von Stroheim’s “Foolish Wives” is a film whose reputation is greater than its contents.

Stroheim stars as a grifter who pretends to be a Russian count – a pair of his ex-lovers masquerade as his cousins, also putting on the fraudulent personas of being aristocrats of the tsarist orbit. They live a precarious existence in Monte Carlo, paying their mounting bills with counterfeit money while staking out rich suckers for extortion. The “count” finds his latest mark in the young and naïve wife of a newly-arrived American diplomat – but he overplays his hand when he juggles his chicanery with lascivious recklessness involving the affections of a chambermaid and the mentally retarded teenage daughter of his counterfeit money provider.

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Tales from the Apocalypse (2023)

I’m shocked at how great “Tales from the Apocalypse” was, and I say that as someone that loves a good apocalyptic yarn here and there. While I wouldn’t be quick to compare it to “Trick r Treat” as the premise has explained, it manages to stand on its own two feet as  great anthology filled with five great science fiction shorts obvious influenced by the likes of Ray Bradbury, Rod Serling, and Richard Matheson. I’m also glad a lot of the shorts picked for this film aren’t the usual tired tropes, but aim for something so much more meaningful and thought provoking.

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My Favorite Pulp Superhero Movies of All Time

The 1990’s were weird when it came to superhero movies. Studios weren’t willing to invest in actual movies starring mainstream characters from Marvel or DC Comics. And in 1989 after the success of Tim Burton’s “Batman” movie, studios left the financial success with the wrong idea. Rather than opting to take a shot on other big line superhero movies, they chose to instead aim for the pulpy nostalgia that the film brought audiences. So they mined the comic book world and began adaptation pulp superheroes from the 1930’s and 1940’s, all of whom were very popular in their time.

Only a few them took off, while sadly many failed to translate in to humongous success. That said, the pulp superhero movie era of the 1990’s was a great time for fans like me that just adored pulp superheroes. I don’t care. I loved pretty much all of it, and I still do. In celebration of the upcoming “Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny,” I compiled a list of my absolute favorite pulp movies of all time.

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Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)

“The Dial of Destiny” is significant not only in that it’s a movie primarily about time, but about wanting to go back in time and fix mistakes. The Indiana Jones we see here is not the Indiana Jones we saw in “Raiders of the Lost Ark” or even “The Last Crusade.” He’s older, he’s war torn, and he’s grappling with so much regret that he’s lost his passion for adventuring. When we see Indiana Jones he’s a man who has lived two full lives and he’s thrust back in to what is arguably his final adventure and it’s bittersweet.

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Open Secret (1948)

Newlyweds Paul (John Ireland) and Nancy (Jane Randolph) Lester are on their honeymoon when they decide to stop by to see Paul’s army buddy, Ed Stevens. The problem is when they arrive at his apartment, Ed is missing. His mail has been taken and someone has broken into the apartment looking for something. Something important.

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